It’s been about two weeks since Mr. Hairline and I decided to give each other space. Full transparency, we’ve texted here and there and it’s been very awkward. It’s as if neither of us wants to let go, but we can’t fully commit either. So we hang out in the gray land of Vague N’Awkward. Every few days, we text each other to say “I thought about you” or “Hope your day is going well.”  

I sometimes ask myself why I’m struggling to let go. Perhaps I’m still holding on to hope that Hairline will miraculously come around, throw caution to the wind, come close, and let his guard down.  

But don’t fret. I’m not sitting around, chuggin’ ice cream, wondering when the boy I like will call me. There’s a new man in Houston.

Interestingly enough, date #10 came as a direct result of this blog. After I shared the very first post of this series on Facebook, Love is a Number’s Game, a Facebook friend of a friend saw the post and figured his homie might be a good match for me – yes, there were about four degrees of separation here. Our mutual friend orchestrated the match. A few phone calls were placed and after getting some basic information about the guy, I had one remaining question. 

“Find out if he’s the type of guy you would trust with your sister,” I asked. When the answer was an unquestionable “yes”, I felt comfortable moving forward. 

Blasian Bae

We will call this date Blasian Bae because he is of both African-American and Asian descent. His two cultures come together to give him a Pacific Islander look. I found his photos attractive revealing his bronze skin, wavy hair, and healthy hairline.🙃  

Let’s pause for a moment. Can’t we just take a moment to appreciate the goodness of the Lord? Folks act as if desiring a man with more hair on his head than on his back is a tall order for me at 38 years of age. But look at Gawd! All of my dates have had healthy, intact hairlines! Next time someone tells you that you’re asking for too much, know that God can work wonders! 🙃 

Ok. Back to Blasian Bae.  

We chatted on the phone for about a week, learning about one another and exchanging travel stories. With a wandering, adventurous spirit, he had gone backpacking in Asia and seen a few world wonders. I listened as he shared some of his crazy travel stories – like the time a three-hour boat ride to an island in Thailand turned into a scary overnight journey with no food, drenched clothes, and taking shelter on a random private island.  

In turn, I shared about the time Loriel and I got caught in a heavy rainstorm while exploring a nude beach in Panama. We were the only ones on the beach and were running around topless like little kids looking for rocks and writing our names in the sand. Suddenly, a heavy rainstorm came, causing us to take cover in a cave. I passed time in the cave reading The Devil Wears Prada out loud so Loriel could be entertained as well. New core memory unlocked.

To my surprise, Blasian Bae asked to meet in person about a week after our first phone call.  Since he lived about a two-hour plane ride away on the East Coast, I had expected it to take more time for our exchanges to manifest into a date in Houston; however, Blasian Bae was ready to hop on a plane for a meetup and I had no objections. He was easy to talk to, had a sense of humor, could fix things, and was known to have great character. Why not?

He arrived at George Bush International Airport at 8:45 am on a Friday morning. I won’t hold you – I’m not a morning person. And I did everything I could to get out of going to the airport for a first date at that hour. Is that petty? I had to rise, get cute, walk the dog, and travel the 30-minute ride during rush hour all by 9 am. Anyone who knows me well will tell you that’s a tall order.  🤷🏾‍♀️

But I figured if he could leave his house at 3 am to catch a flight from Charlotte Airport in the wee hours, the least I could do was pick him up.  

When Blasian Bae found me waiting outside of arrivals, he opened his arms for a hug that lifted me off the ground. Immediately, I felt his warmth and sincerity. 

Date #10

Knowing he was a foodie, I did my research for breakfast and gave him two alternatives: Dish Society and Dandelion Cafe. He chose Dish Society based on the name alone and we started on the thirty-minute journey to their location. I’ve learned that no matter where you are – or where you’re going in Houston – everything seems to be a half hour away. 

We arrived at Dish Society and were surprised to discover that the restaurant offered counter service, similar to a fast-food restaurant. The food, however, was not fast-food quality. In fact, all of their food is sourced locally and super fresh. My shrimp and grits came bursting with flavor. Ten out of ten – highly recommended. 

What I remember the most about breakfast was how comfortable and secure Blasian Bae seemed to be. He smiled and laughed as we chatted about the menu and how our “blind date” had been set up by friends. At one point in the conversation, I stopped him.

“I’m sorry. I’m distracted. You’re really cute” I told him.

“Thank you and you’re beautiful. I enjoyed watching you walk away to the bathroom.”

Chemistry? Is that you? 👀 Oh Lordt, here we go . . .

After breakfast, we made our way to The Museum of Natural Science. Blasian Bae searched Groupon, one of my favorite apps, to find a deal that could save on the cost of admission. I’ve heard that some women look down on a man using coupons for dates, but I have no issues. If I get the same experience, why pay more than necessary?

Blasian Bae and I geeked out at the museum, learning about the landscape of Texas and its 74 state parks. We marveled at the sapphires and rubies in the hall of gems and minerals. We visited the Hall of Wildlife and my favorite, The Cockrell Butterfly House. In awe, I watched through the glass pane as insects traversed their colonies and butterflies emerged from their chrysalises. As we strolled through the rainforest conservatory, admiring the beautiful fifty-foot waterfall, tropical plants, and hundreds of butterflies, I shared with him how I used to capture and release butterflies as a child. This date felt nostalgic.

Blasian Bae and I took in the magical environment and I felt myself unencumbered by the burden of overthinking. I was truly enjoying the moment. It was a combination of enjoying my company and a perfect environment. 

This is why I recommend that women play an active role in their dating experiences. When you’ve selected an activity that truly brings you joy, your date will experience the best version of you. Visiting the Butterfly House with Blasian Bae revealed my natural curiosity, wonder, and child-like spirit way more than a trip to the movies or (dare I say) The Cheesecake Factory ever could. 

Date #10.5

Part three of our date was scheduled to take place that evening. After dropping Blasian Bae off to check into his hotel and returning home to walk and feed Miss Winnie, I took a nap and caught up on work. I was scheduled to return downtown to pick him up from his hotel at 8:30 p.m. for dinner.  

Despite leaving home on time, I fell thirty minutes behind schedule due to a highway detour, discovering I needed gas and taking the wrong exit. I arrived a bit flustered, explaining what had transpired. My lack of time management can be a real stressor.  

Blasian Bae noticed my uneasiness, took my hand, slowed me down, and calmly replied, “It’s ok. We’re here now and we’ll get there.” 

I felt an instant release of pressure. I thought to myself, I need this type of energy in my life. 

We made it to our 9:00 pm reservations at a Korean BBQ restaurant, Mapojeong, just in time. I had experienced Korean BBQ one other time in the past, but this was like taking an Asian cuisine class. Blasian Bae taught me the proper way to use chopsticks – which, by the way, I have yet to master. He explained each side dish and how to pair them with the barbequed meat. It was a cultural experience. The wanderlust in me was having a ball.

Halfway through the meal, a little Korean grandmother came to our table to check on us.  Blasian Bae made conversation asking her about where she was from in Korea. The woman, who was the mother of the restaurant owner, stayed at our table chatting for about ten minutes.  Blasian Bae explained to her that we were on a blind date, while I bragged about how far he had come to see me. The two of them became so comfortable that she fed him the scraps of left-over Bulgogi by hand before clearing the dish from our table. It was adorable. Watching them, I thought to myself, I like this guy.  

Following the restaurant, we went on for drinks at Bayou and Bottle located within The Four Seasons Hotel. I opted for a glass of cabernet, while Blasian Bae enjoyed a Dr. Pepper Old Fashioned. While sitting in the lounge, we discussed the terms of a bet we had placed before his arrival. If I won, he would owe me fifty dollars. Seeing my stiff terms, he renegotiated from asking me for thirty push-ups to asking me for a kiss.  

“But you might get one anyway” I flirted.

“Well, how about you give me one now?”

Blasian Bae leaned in and kissed me as if he meant it. The kiss was – perfect. Not too much pressure and not too little passion. His lips were soft. And even though we weren’t the only ones in the lounge, he wasn’t shy. He lingered for a bit, kissing me until I pulled away. Where did this man learn to kiss like this, I thought to myself.

We proceeded to carry out our bet asking four random people their opinions on a topic we had been debating. Of course, I won the bet. 🙃

Driving home from Date #10 in Houston, I felt giddy with excitement. Here was a man who checked off several boxes on my “man list”. He was in therapy and had an adventurous spirit, as well as the discretionary time and income for travel and dates. He also seemed to demonstrate confidence, kindness, and compassion. The chemistry between us was just the icing on the cake.

Things were looking up in Houston!

Check back next week to find out what happens on day two of Blasian Bae’s trip to Houston.

Make sure you’re subscribed and check back next week to part two of my favorite date yet! And I want to hear from you in the comments. Do you think Blasian Bae will be the one? Was he your favorite as well? Let’s chat!

Until Next Time,

Be Blessed!

Kaity

P.S.  Did you know that I wrote a journal? I created The Confidence Project Journal for self-reflective women who love journaling and luxury experiences. The luxury VIP package includes 52 journal prompts, a signature gold pen, a gold metal bookmark, a confidence playlist, and souvenir packaging.  Click here to purchase your copy!

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