Welcome back to 100 Dates in Houston, a dating blog series chronicling my journey as a thirty-something woman on a quest to go on100 dates in Houston, Texas. My goal is to connect with the love of my life. If you’re new here, start with my intro post, explaining the details of this challenge. In today’s post, there are no major lessons – but there sure is a lot of entertainment. 😉

We’ve made it to 2024, my loves! I’ve been dating in Houston for about eight months and have had a total of 18 dates here.  Back in December, I released an exclusive end-of-year dating recap just for my subscribers. I broke the numbers down, complete with pie charts and graphs – this is serious business we’re doing. 🙃 I even tracked and shared how many men I cried over.  After my detailed analysis, I concluded that my goal was to double the number of first dates I had from eight in 2023, to sixteen in 2024.  So, here goes!

A few updates

My last post was date #15, with Mr. Positivity. The post before that shared the story of how I met the Angolan, who occupied dates 13, 14, and 16.  However, whatever happened to The Comedian from date #12?

Well, I had two additional dates with him, bringing me to 18 dates for the year. Our final rendezvous was a trip to see the play, A Christmas Carol at The Alley Theater, here in The Houston Theater District.  The play was 10/10 and I highly recommend it.  It felt festive to enjoy the most wonderful time of the year revisiting a classic Christmas story. During intermission at the play, we sipped hot cocoa and walked around the foyer of the theater, admiring the uniquely decorated trees entered into the theater’s Christmas tree contest. The only thing missing was a feather dusting of snow to make me feel like I was back home in Jersey during the holidays.  

Although I enjoyed our date activity, it eventually dawned on me that The Comedian was not the man for me. Throughout our two months of dating, there were quite a few times he used jokes and humor to hint at wanting more time and attention from me. After sitting with his feedback, I realized that he felt neglected because my heart was uninvolved. Although I tried, I couldn’t form a connection or feel any kind of real attraction to him. The Comedian never did anything “wrong” per se, but I felt apathy about moving forward with him. To top it all off, there was all that talking I mentioned on date #12. 😵‍💫  

As a person who’s been on the other side of unclarity and mixed messages, I find it unkind to string a person along in the presence of indifference. After three dates, it was time to move on. I’ve learned it’s best not to try and force a square peg into a round hole. 

Or is it? 🤔 

I sat with my decision.  Perhaps it would be better to embrace apathy than release a man who hadn’t done anything wrong, I wondered.

No, there are far too many fish in the sea, I told myself and decided to choose abundance over scarcity.  

These are the choices single people must make.  I could only hope that I would not regret my decision later.

(Months later, I still do not regret my decision.)  

Foolishness, shenanigans, and nonsense

ENTERTAINING.  If I were to give one word to describe my 2024 dating life thus far, “entertaining” would be it! 

At only weeks into the near year, I had already experienced all manner of entertainment. Or if I’m being candid, we could call it “foolishness”. I haven’t expected every man I swipe on to be my husband, but I also haven’t expected what I’m getting. 😬As I anticipated, my journey to 100 dates is growing my capacity and I’m learning not to give up as I sift through the shenanigans. I’m developing a warrior’s spirit. 

Here are some screenshots to give you a peek into my world of online dating.

Exhibit A. – The Asian

I came across his profile on Hinge and was drawn in by the images of him jumping into bodies of water and having lots of fun. I don’t discriminate. Hey, why not say hello?

This is how it went…

As you can imagine, I was immediately turned off by his first message fetishizing my womb. His second message threw me even further than the first. Since when do Asian people say “grand rising”? That controversial phrase is reserved for Dr. Umar and the kufi-wearing pro-blackest of Black people.

Despite The Asian’s foolishness, I didn’t unmatch  him right away. As I pondered how or if I should respond to his off-putting messages, The Asian man unmatched me! I suppose he was either embarrassed by his actions or turned off by my lack of response. Either way, he was out. ✌🏾

Exhibit B -Mr. I’m the Catch

Mr. I’m the Catch caught my eye on Hinge.  He appeared to live a fun life and I found him somewhat attractive. But then he started texting . . . 

It’s giving, “I’m entitled and arrogant and I want you to perform for me”. 🙄

Rather than taking a cue from my rather robust profile to ask me a question, Mr. I’m the Catch instead told me that he’s picky and I may as well start shuckin’ and jivin’ for him. 

I have a threshold that allows me to give grace for ignorance. Arrogance and entitlement are beyond that threshold. Immediate unmatch.

But wait – There’s more!  The Asian and Mr. I’m the Catch were only the beginning . . .

Here’s the story of date #19, Mr. Fifty-Fifty,

Setting the stage

My Hinge profile set the stage for Date #19. Remembering feedback to “be open”, I decided to swipe right on any profile that caught my eye, as long as it had no overt turn-offs or deal breakers. No bio, but a nice smile? Swipe right.  No hairline, but interesting photos? Swipe right!

My goal was not to choose my husband based on a few photos and blurbs but to simply make conversations and see where they might lead.

Eventually, I matched with a man whose profile intrigued me. His primary image was a video zip-lining over a canopy of trees in a foreign jungle, while his second image captured him exploring a beach. He seemed to Iove adventure just as much as I do and also threw in a few debonair shots, wearing finely tailored tuxedos in luxury locations. Perhaps we might paint the town red together. 💃🏾

To top it off, his profile mentioned that he loved God and wanted a woman with whom he could share his faith.  As I explored is profile I thought, This has potential.  🤔

Physically, date #19 was not “my type”. In fact, he had a rather unusual look. To protect his identity, I won’t disclose the details of his appearance, BUT I will say that he does have a hairline! 😉🙃

A curious comment

As we chatted on the app, one comment stood out to me. I asked him what he was looking for in a woman — a question I’ve since eliminated because people are weird about it. He replied that he didn’t want to give too much away, but the main thing was that “she must be interested in me”.

I found his reply to be a bit curious. Wasn’t it a given that the person you date would be interested in you? Was his main requirement for a partner that she simply be interested in him? If that’s the case, wouldn’t almost any woman would fit the bill, as long as she wanted him? 

As I often do, I noticed his comment, but decided not to make a thing out of it—but oh, was it a thing indeed! 

Date #19

After a short and pleasant half-hour video chat, Mr. Fifty-Fifty suggested we meet for a date.  He was considerate of my drive from The Woodlands and selected Handel’s Homemade Ice Cream, located in Spring, TX about twenty minutes from my apartment.  He told me to wear comfortable shoes.  

This was lining up to be a casual date, with laid-back vibes.  I decided to wear a simple white tee shirt, a pair of ripped boyfriend jeans, and sneakers, with a khaki trench coat to stave off the evening chill.  My attire matched my energy.  There would be no sexy date pre-game for this simple ice cream date.

My date greeted me as I arrived at Handel’s Homemade Ice Cream.  He wore a fitted t-shirt with a busy floral print, white glasses, and a chunky ice-out chain. 😬

I shivered while taking in the setting.  My date explained that he wasn’t sure of our next move because he thought the ice cream shop would have space for us to sit inside and chat. Not only was there no indoor seating, it was also pretty cold and windy out.  Even with my trench coat, I was chilly and preferred not to weather the elements as I ate a cold dessert.

Although I don’t require it, I certainly appreciate it when a man has a solid plan for a date and all I have to do is show up.  It earns him bonus points in my book. Mr. Fifty-Fifty hadn’t planned our ice cream date well, but I wouldn’t hold it against him.  Instead, I surveyed the vicinity and suggested that we check out Bytes-Arcade and Eatery, which was within walking distance of the ice cream shop.  

We chatted on our way to the arcade, entered at no cost, and eventually made our way over to the bar. From the Prickly Pear Margarita to the Cherry Bourbon Blast, the drink selection at Bytes is pretty impressive.  My date ordered a Long Island, while I opted for a ten-dollar Peach Whiskey Smash.  

Here’s where “Mr. Fifty-Fifty” began to earn his stripes. 

The bartender asked if the drinks would be paid on one tab and whether or not we both had identification. Not expecting to split the bill, I looked at my date . . .

He then looked at me. 👀

I Iooked at him. 

And he looked a me. 👁️👁️

Breaking our exchange, I remembered that I’d left my ID in the car, so I excused myself to run outside.  By the time I made it back inside, he had paid for both drinks. Once again, I didn’t make a thing of our brief staredown at the register – but I did notice it.

A pleasant evening

The rest of our evening went well.  In fact, it went remarkably well.  Mr. Fifty-fifty shared how he is a big proponent of therapy and that most people don’t understand the skills required for a healthy relationship. I agreed with him. To be honest, he could have stopped there.  I’m always so impressed by men who are willing to do emotional work. I suppose because so many men aren’t – and it kills their relationships and capacity for intimacy.

But our compatibility didn’t stop at therapy.  My date told me about his hobbies and after discovering that we both enjoy photography, we took turns bragging about our favorite travel images. I pulled up a photo of dragon fruit that I taken while experimenting with food photography in Thailand.  He saw my little food photography photo and raised me a drone-captured video scaling the landscape in El Salvador. His skills had me beat.  

Mr. Fifty-Fifty also told me about the elders who had raised him.  He shared about his career and his outlook on faith and relationships.  Everything seemed to be aligning well.  He even concluded our night by bringing a little treat to my car.  During one of our text exchanges before meeting, he’d shared that he was experimenting with sugar-free recipes, so I joked that he should bring me a slice.  He remembered my suggestion and obliged me with a slice of sugar-free yellow cake.  It tasted more like medicine than dessert if I’m being honest, but it’s the thought that counts, right? 

The next day, I called up Loriel to tell her about the man with the unusual aesthetic who checked many of my boxes. I was interested in getting to know him better.

The Monkey wrench

A few days after our date, while things appeared to be moving along smoothly, a monkey wrench appeared and shifted the tone of our exchanges. While texting, I asked Mr. Fifty-Fifty about his masculine archetype. (If you’re unfamiliar with archetypes, check out The Curious Case of Mr. Beard, where I explain the concept in detail).  Mr. Fifty-Fifty, used that conversation as a segue into a gender role discussion.  

“So do you believe that the man should pay for all the dates?” he asked. 

Oh boy I thought to myself.  Here we go . . .

This where I will have to leave you, my friends! So, what did you think of date #19? Check back next week to find out how things fared for Mr. Fifty-Fifty. And don’t forget, you can support this project by tapping the “buy me a coffee” tab or sharing this post in one of your online circles. Let’s build this community. Until next time, be blessed! ~Kaity

P.S.  Did you know that I wrote a journal? I created The Confidence Project Journal for self-reflective women who love journaling and luxury experiences. The luxury VIP package includes 52 journal prompts, a signature gold pen, a gold metal bookmark, a confidence playlist, and souvenir packaging.  Click here to purchase your copy!

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